Dating direct deals
About your Hot/Cold partner: There's a marked difference between a relationship hiccup and the game of hot and cold.
Don't let your friends analyze your situation and convince you otherwise.In Episode #440, Nathan talks to Sean Howell, the founder of Hornet – the second largest gay social network with 15 million members worldwide, known for its ongoing “Know your Status” HIV campaign.He’s a speaker on mobile technology and his opinions have been featured all over the place, even the New York Times.Contact is reciprocal, time is made to see each other, and forward movement is evident. The hot phase is designed to get you in the gate that leads to the corral, where you'll later be harnessed. Your partner begins to pull away making you long for their previous attention.Whether initiated by a cold-shoulder, avoidance, or lack of communication... This phase activates loss, making you yearn for them and wait with bated breath for their call or text. These are the basic dance steps to this type of behavior. This formula is predictable and consistent even when your partner's reactions are not. It's long been the rule that when dating someone whose behavior is marked by hot and cold reactivity, you're standing on shaky ground.
This is the core thinking of the partner who initiates hot/cold, and serves as their safety net to vulnerability. Because relationship uncertainty makes human beings yearn for stability.
You wonder what happened and begin to question every move you made. Simply put, when you pull away, they'll re-engage you. After a cycle or two of this routine you'll be so confused you won't know which way to move.
Without realizing it, you've submitted to their need for emotional and psychological control. The pattern repeats itself for as long as you're willing to play this game.
A hot and cold player reverts to cold as the norm, with bursts of hot that don't result in forward movement.
The root cause of this behavior is a desperate attempt to gain control over the uncontrollable; love. But the partner, who's committed to playing safe, will never allow himself or herself to experience love.
It appears as though as though your partner has all the strength.