Getting it online sociological perspectives on e dating
We can now see that it is a convenient and relatively harmless satisfaction of the inclination to aggression, by means of which cohesion between the members of the community is made easier.” (Freud, “Hence the astonishing harmony of ordinary couples who, often matched initially, progressively match each other by a sort of mutual acculturation. Is it because we’re so reliant on this information anyway that when it’s so readily available we lean on it even more heavily?This spontaneous decoding of one habitus by another is the basis of the immediate affinities which orient social encounters, discouraging socially discordant relationships, without those operations having to be formulated other than in the innocent language of likes and dislikes.” (243)However, I think Ok Cupid leads us to rely too heavily on taste as a signifier of whether we’d get along with someone, or worse, as a reason to dismiss someone altogether. I’ll close off this section on Bourdieu with a quote about self-presentation that segues well into the next couple theories:“The interest the different classes have in self-presentation, the attention they devote to it, their awareness of the profits it gives and the investment of time, effort, sacrifice and care which they actually put into it, are proportionate to the amount of symbolic profit they can reasonably expect from it.” (202)“The ‘I’ of introspection is the self which enters into social relations with other selves.
We’re much more able, Mead would suggest, to get a read on people based on how they carry themselves around other people.I’m writing this as a follow up to a presentation I (somewhat spontaneously) gave yesterday at Bar Camp Boston.The idea was to lead discussion by teaching high-level, basic concepts from a couple of social theorists as a means of segueing into conversation about what online dating means.As a recovering sociology major (who will, in truth, never “recover”), I couldn’t help but try to make sense of Ok Cupid in the language of social theory.French theorist Pierre Bourdieu‘s is a bit of a behemoth, but having read every word (with the notes, highlights, and scribbles inside my copy to prove it), I can safely cite it as one of the most perception-altering things I’ve ever read. To summarize the gist of the book, Bourdieu examines how we use taste to figure each other out:“To the socially recognized hierarchy of the arts, and within each of them, of genres, schools, or periods, corresponds a social hierarchy of the consumers.Nearly-identical tastes seem to be most problematic in moments where small differences between those tastes become evident.
Bourdieu highlights this in relation to the bourgeoisie and the petit bourgeoisie, as well as between the petit bourgeoisie and the proletariat.
On Ok Cupid, most women receive so many messages per day that it wouldn’t make sense even in the most bizarre universe for them to also invest time sending messages of their own.
Men are, therefore, expected to do all of the , while women primarily vet the messages in their inbox, overwhelmed with the flurry and consequently making extremely arbitrary choices along the way.
After a summer of a lot of online chatting and one or two in-person meet-ups, I took a hiatus for a few years, rejoining the site the summer after college.
This time, I found myself going on a lot more but still, nothing stuck.
It felt like a secret club: I never spotted anyone I knew in the listings.