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And like with anything new, it can take some time to develop and perfect our best style of communication.This isn’t a macro problem, it comes down to a micro decision of an individual to treat others like humans instead of virtual sex bots and balance your own virtual communication with your three dimensional life.

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“The chatting was getting sexual and before meeting him I disclosed my HIV status.It was about the fourth day when I had had just about as much as I could take – so I deleted the conversations and deleted Grindr.My mom left a day later and I felt such guilt for not strengthening the familial relationship that was more important to me than some Grindr guys who didn’t respect the human being on the other end of the digital wall." Social media hook-up apps are not inherently good or bad; they are merely the newest form of human interface.By simply using a face picture as a person’s user profile image, the language and behavior a user is usually markedly improved.But the widespread adoption of social media “hook-up” communication hasn’t only negatively influenced the way we virtually communicate, it has also spilled into our real life relationships.This, unfortunately, plays into a darker side of our psyche that takes an unfiltered and inhumane approach to human interaction where the user treats other users like players in a sexual video game.

While at a work meeting or getting a coffee, a person can practically annihilate a person’s self esteem .

This casual daily phenomenon has led many people to be saddened by the state of gay culture and the humanity of the modern gay man.

The virtual sex lives of gay men have even caught the attention of female columnists like Samantha Allen, a tech and health writer for In a recent article titled, “‘No Blacks’ Is Not a Sexual Preference, It’s Racism,’” Allen calls out the state of sexual racism that she says is particularly heated within the gay community.

She writes, “If you’re a gay man, phrases like ‘no blacks’ and ‘no Asians’ aren’t just words that you’d find on old signs in a civil rights museum, they are an unavoidable and current feature of your online dating experience.

On gay dating apps like Grindr and Scruff, some men post blunt and often offensive disclaimers on their profiles such as ‘no oldies,’ ‘no fems,’ and ‘no fatties.’” Naturally, the crude and rudimentary nature of “Grindr speech” is the type of language that most people would not use in face-to-face communication.

He responded with ‘you're disgusting.’ I replied he was ignorant for his age.