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"SOUTH PARK" Episode 507 "PROPER CONDOM USE" Written by Trey Parker [South Park, day.

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Well let's start with our first lesson, then, shall we? That's right, because unless you get boys to wear condoms you can and will get a sexually transmitted disease from them! And the reason is that you girls wake up in the morning and say, "It's not going to happen to me." You say, "Oh, Ms. [The school kitchen, lunch.] CHEF Hello there, children. STDs are affecting younger and younger kids all the time. We're goin' tuh get through this by being mature and grown up, m'kay. Parents, we have to face facts: Children in America are having sex at younger and younger ages. Words like "penis" and "vagina." Nuh now STOP that, m'kay! SHARON Stanley, don't you understand what you are doing??

RANDY Well, you know, when you do that to a m-male...

Why, just this afternoon our son was caught beatin' off our dog. Do you really want your children learning about sex? CHEF The first thing that kids learn about sex shouldn't be some bitch-scare tactic about STDs. With all the teen pregnancies that are out today, I think my boy does need to know about sexual education.

The only way we can combat that is by educating children before they have sex.

His parents have entered his room, quite upset at his behavior earlier.

STAN I was doing "red rocket" to make the dog's milk come out.

STAN You guys, we just wanna know if you- GIRLS AAAAHHH!